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ABOUT DATING Dating is meant to be
A LIGHT, CASUAL,
ADVENTUROUS, FUN AFFAIR. It's a time when you can SHOW YOURSELF OFF by LOOKING + BEING YOUR BEST. DATING is about SEXUAL APPEAL. It's also about ... - enjoying each other's company - finding out who you might like as a mate - having A GOOD TIME doing FUN THINGS. DATING
ACTIVITIES
DECIDE together what
you'd like to do: BE OPEN to suggestions. Say: do you have any suggestions for an outing?
Have your gaze linger. Look away. Glance again. FROM
AFAR
WINK.The person responds positively? WALK ON OVER. FIRSTLY, BE FRIENDLY, SMILE, LOOK DIRECTLY at the person giving him/her your FULL ATTENTION. Introduce yourself by SHAKING THE PERSON'S HAND saying ... Hi. I'm Ken and you are Jane? LOOK HAPPY to see the person. RELAX YOUR POSTURE: remember 80% of communication is BODY LAN- GUAGE. SPEAK SLOWLY, TALK NICELY. This will help the person to relax and get used to your voice. SECONDLY, ask some simple questions to 1. get the person talking 2. gage the person's interest in you. LISTEN attentively. ASK FOR A HUG. LOOK AT THE PERSON intently to let her/him that you are going to KISS. THIRDLY, ask the person out by saying something like ... I was wondering ... Why don't we ... ? How about you and I ... ? Perhaps, we can go to ... some time. Let's hang out some time. How about this Saturday or Sunday at 1:30 or 2:30 p.m.? Let's go for coffee some time. How about this Saturday or Sunday at 1:30 or 2:30 p.m.? COFFEE FIRST Go for a 20-minute coffee to discuss your first date. Should the reason for the date be to have a sexual relationship, this is the time to bring that up so the person can back out because that is NOT something they're ready for. WARNING: A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WARNING: HAS TO BE "continuously" WARNING: CONSENSUAL. OTHER- WARNING: WISE, IT'S ASSAULT. AT THE VERY START, BE HONEST REGARDING YOUR INTENTIONS. AGREE to keep the first date within the 2-hour range. NOTE: you can ask to bring NOTE: a friend along. SAFETY Let someone know with whom you're going on a date, where you're going, what you're going to do. Tell the person that you will call him/her back to let him/her know that you are safe. PREPING Shower. Wash your hair. Brush your teeth. Wear clean, nice-looking clothes. Wear a nice-smelling cologne (perfume - for a girl) It's a nice, friendly gesture to begin the date by giving a gift to ease the tension. It could be a coffee mug with a card saying THANKS for the date. Or instead of a mug, it could be a flower (or flowers), chocolates even a stick of gum or a peice of candy. FIRST DATE MAKE THE PERSON FEEL COMFORTABLE by ... - SMILING a lot - telling a joke - giving a sincere compliment - using the person's name often - LOOKING HAPPY to be with him/her. Tip: avoid talking more than Tip: 2 minutes at a time. Tip: LISTEN more. WARNING:
talking
about previous relation-
WARNING: ships takes the focus off your WARNING: date. For this reason, it's both WARNING: INSENSITIVE and DISRE- WARNING: SPECTFUL. TOUCHING Infrequent touching [like hugging, kissing (on the neck or cheek), holding hands now and again, putting a hand on the other person's lower back when moving through a crowd, or on the shoulder or arm to make a point when talking, putting your arm around the person] can be reassuring. GROUP DATES Group dates are THE BEST for teenagers because they're FUN and SAFE. NEXT DATE? HOW RESPONSIVE you are to
each other
should determine
whether there will beANOTHER NEXT DATE. AN ENJOYABLE FIRST DATE may "feel right" for a 2nd, but it's NO GUARANTEE of a 2nd .one as the other person, for what- ever reason, does NOT wish to spend more time with you at least for a while: s/he may be going away on holidays, may be visiting relatives, may be attending a wedding or funeral, etc. NO NEXT DATE Should neither of you be NOT INTERESTED in the other, there should be NO NEXT DATE. Just shake hands and say: THANKS FOR THE DATE. ANOTHER DATE? Say: THANKS FOR THE DATE. I enjoyed going out with you. (You can say what you like about the date.) I'd like to have your phone # or e-mail address so I can invite you out again. I'll call around 7 p.m. on a Wednesday or I'll e-mail you. Which do you prefer? Note: when you do call or e-mail Note: the person, it's nice to Note: say I was thinking of Note: you. BOUNDARIES Dating someone does not allow you to get involved in that person's life. What to say when the other person invites your opinion regarding a personal matter: I'm sorry that's a personal matter that does NOT concern me: I don't want to get involve any anybody's personal life. marcusneo.com/dating-and-relationship-boundaries END IT Whenever there is any sign of controlling be- havior, dishonesty, disrespect, negativity, fee- ling used, taking phone calls, THEN, IT'S TIME to END THE DATE saying: I'm so sorry, but I really don't feel well. I do have to go now. Bye. CAUTION: invading the person's CAUTION: privacy (personal life) CAUTION: is THREATENING, CAUTION: AGGRESSIVE BE- CAUTION: HAVIOR. 1 Week You should NOT date the same person more than once a week in the beginning. 3 Months After 3 months, you should know wheater this person is A GOOD FIT for you as a boy friend or girl friend. 2 Years THE UNSPOKEN RULE is ... - you should NOT marry someone PRIOR TO 2 years - a DEAD-END relationship should end by YEAR 2 TRUE LOVE It's about wanting to make the other person happy. DATING QUESTIONS A date is NOT THE TIME to ply a person with lots of questions: talking about THE MOMENT is always A GOOD IDEA as well as following that up with a few questions. A date is about GOING OUT AND DOING ENJOYABLE THINGS. That will allow for THE A COMFORT LEVEL to grow which in turn will make THE ATTRAC- TION GROW.
It takes AT LEAST 3 MONTHS to develop a connection with someone. HUMOUR HOTSTUFF: I'm talking about us, Baby. You're SO HOT: let's start A FIRE. Is it HOT in here or is JUST YOU? You are the paint and I'm the brush and the bed is the canvas. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put i beside u. Do you believe in love AT FIRST SIGHT or should I walk by you again? You must be AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN: let me SQUEEZE YOUR ARM to see if you're REAL. I just met you and my erectile dysfunction is GONE! Amazing! SEXUAL ACTIVITY Kissing, hugging, holding hands, cuddling are safe activities. Any sexual activity can reach THE POINT OF NO RETURN. THEN, there's the possibility of contracting A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE and pregnancy. Any sexual activity implies A MORE COM- MITTED RELATIONSHIP that one or both may NOT WANT. Any sexual activity will increase THE DA- TING FREQUENCY and TIME SPENT with that person reducing time spent on other things and going out with other people: in other words, IT WILL TIE YOU DOWN making you LESS FREE. CAUTION: should one (or both) NOT CAUTION: BE READY, it can lead to CAUTION: feelings of being used and CAUTION: abused. MORE PEOPLE As you date MORE PEOPLE you'll GET BETTER at dating and be A BETTER DATE. It also affords you the time and gives you the experience in deciding on the kind of lifetime mate you might want to have. FINDING A PARTNER https://datingsidekick.com |