Teacher:
What sign?
Marcus:
The 1 that says,
"School Ahead, 
  Go Slow."
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Teacher:
Tommy, how old were you
on your last birthday?
Tommy:
7.

Teacher:
How old will you be
on your next birthday?
Tommy:
9.

Teacher:
That's impossible.
Tommy:
No, it isN'T, Teacher. 
I'm 8 today.
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Teacher:
Myron, name 1 important thing
we have today that we didN'T
have 10 years ago.

Myron:
Me!
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Teacher:
Frankie, why do you
always get so dirty?

Frankie:
Well, I'm a lot closer to the
ground than you are.
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Ellen:
Hey Dad, can you write in the dark?

Father:
I think so, honey. What do you
want me to write?

Ellen:
Your name on this report card.
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Teacher:
In this box, I have a 10-foot snake ... .

Stephen:
Ah, you caN'T fool us, Teacher!
Snakes doN'T have feet.
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Teacher:
How can you prevent diseases
caused by biting insects?

Jonathan:
Uuhh ...  .
DoN'T bite any.
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Teacher:
Elloise, give me a sentence
starting with 'I'.
Elloise:
I is ... .

Teacher:
No, Elloise. 
Always say, "I am."
Elloise:
All right ...
"I am the 9th letter
 of the alphabet."
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Mommy:
Why on earth did you swallow
the money I gave you?

Benny:
But, Mommy, you said it was
my lunch money.
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Ms. Jones:
So, if I had 7 oranges in 1 hand 
and 8 oranges in the other, 
what would I have?

George Jr.:
Really *BIG* hands!
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Teacher:
George, go to the map
and find North America.
George:
Here it is! 
Right here!

Teacher:
Correct. 
Now, class,
who discovered America?
Class:
George!